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CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Thu May 18, 2017 6:11 pm
by Just disappointed
An "Office" style muckumentary, featuring fictional characters with personality similarities to some people that we know. Entitled "The PCA Office". Purely fiction, any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Episode 1 - The Timesheet - More Episodes to Follow
Scene 1

Axel is diligently approving expense reports for his direct reports one evening. Byrone pokes his head around the door.

Byrone: I need some help Axel, completing my timesheet.

Axel: What’s a timesheet, Byrone, never heard of that?

Byrone: It’s something you fill out to tell people where you’ve been working, what you’ve done, for whom and how much it’s costing. Someone said it was quite important to be clear when you have two jobs, so everyone understands the expectations and costs and doesn’t think you are being dishonest, especially when you are ignoring longstanding policies put in place to stop exactly this kind of behaviour. I found out about it in the corporate governance section of that unit I bought from you at Macquarie University.

Axel: Ssshh don’t say that were not supposed to talk about it, remember that cheque they wrote? Anyway are you sure timesheets and corporate governance are for us? Someone might use it to find out what we are actually doing. Remember we make the rules, we don’t have to obey them.

Byrone: No, I’m not sure it’s a good idea but I’m gonna try it. Who should I charge my Saturday overtime to, the Society or the University?

Axel: Well OK. What were you doing that Saturday?

Byrone: Playing minesweeper.

Axel: Minesweeper, a classic game… (pauses for thought)…mmmm..On one hand gaming is clearly related to student experience, and on the other, sweeping mines has a regulatory aspect, the United Nations do it all the time. Let’s charge it to both, like the rest of your week.

Byrone: Sweet

Axel: Hey, just had an idea. Let’s invoice it to the United Nations as well. They might pay it, and we could use the extra revenue to fund more media waste or bump up the Executive salaries. We’re kicking goals with all these new members and need another raise.

Byrone: Great idea, you are truly an inspiration Axel.

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Thu May 18, 2017 9:52 pm
by nakedadmin
Scene 2:
Axel walks into the marketing department. Stands behind next to the Business Development Manager (BDM) looking at computer.
Axel "What's happening on the web today?"
BDM "Heaps of comments"
Axel points to screen "Delete that"
BDM "Yes"
Axel "And that"
BDM "Of course"
Axel "Oh dear they said what? Delete it"
BDM "gone"
Axel "Now what is left here"
BDM "Well um nothing"
Axel "Damn, get that spreadsheet guy on the phone"
Ring ring
Spreadsheet guy "Hello"
Axel "Hi it's Axel"
Spreadsheet guy "Axel, you've got to resign. Have you seen the media"
Axel "Oh come on give a guy a break. Listen we need you to post one of those great excel tips to the web"
Spreadsheet guy "I'm writing one I'll have it up next week"
Axel "Oh c'mon what about just put up the one from a few weeks ago again."
Spreadsheet guy "Why people have already seen it"
Axel "Some may have missed it, oh c'mon"
Spreadsheet guy "Ok whatever"
Axel "thanks mate" hangs up
BDM "Ok that looks better"
Axel "There you go, I've always said everything flows from communication"
BDM "Didn't you say everything flows from effective leadership?"
Axel "And what do leaders do?.... huh yes.... communicate ... right! Think about it..."
Axel "Oh did you get that poster of me yet"
BDM "Yes here is the proof"
Axel looks at it. "Can we make my head a little bigger.... and shrink down that CPA logo"
BDM "Well you almost can't even see the CPA logo"
Axel "Yes good point, just delete it. And get 10,000 copies."
BDM "Ok"
Axel "You know what these posters are?"
BDM "Advertising"
Axel "No. Communication. With these posters we are sending a message"
BDM looks at poster "Yes you're right it is sending a message"
Axel "That's why I'm CEO! Now if you'll excuse me I have a meeting with ASIC to tell them about how financial planning is supposed to work"

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 12:24 am
by Just disappointed
The PCA Office – Episode 2, Scene 1 – The Expense Report.

Axel is approving expense reports again. Yes, there are a lot. Today’s include those from the AGM in Singapore. He’s disappointed at the lacklustre selection of food, beverage and accommodation claimed by the board and senior managers. He bemoans the task, getting increasingly frustrated. He can be heard yelling from his office. Staff and directors cower in fear.

Scene starts with Axel and his not unattractive assistant, Rebecca.

Axel: (LOUDLY) For goodness sakes Rebecca, I’ve told them once and I’ve told them again, these idiots just aren’t following the script. Get Byrone on the phone, please.

Rebecca: Dyrone for you on line one. Byrone, Rebecca, it’s Byrone, Byrone, Byrone – I know you are new here but can you please get it right?

Rebecca: (Crying) I’m sorry Mr Axel, I will try harder.

Byrone: Yes, Axel?

Axel: Look, I’m going to approve your report this month, but this is the last time I’m letting your poor adherence to Society policy through the filter.

Byrone: I apologise, what is the issue?

Axel: It’s your wine selection. Minimum Society standard for red is Grange, and if it has to be sparkling white, Krug. If there is no alternative anything French is OK but it must be premier cru. Understood?

Byrone: Understood – can I get a copy of the policy?

Axel: No, you can read but not copy it, it’s the “beverage” policy it's filed in my filing cabinet under “S”.

Byrone: Why is it filed under “S”?

Axel: It’s S for shred, as in, shred it as soon as I get the sack or resign. You’ll find it in that folder with all the marketing, research, media and sport sponsorship contracts.

Byrone: Understood, I will read it.

Axel: And you can tell that Wader, that first class in mandatory for all long flights over 30 minutes duration. I’m approving this business class airfare from Newcastle to Sydney, but will you tell him it’s the last time I’m doing it. Routes where first class are not available are to be avoided.

(sighs with relief) – Another task over, thankfully.

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 12:56 am
by The Nude CPA
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Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 9:21 am
by deaneus
that's fantastic, i imagined this as a sitcom, where that Axel character was always walking around without his clothes on.

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 1:54 pm
by Just disappointed
[Cheers deanus and Nude CPA]

The PCA Office – Episode 3 – Scene 1 – The Lesson

Rebecca is reading what appears to be a textbook at her desk one lunchtime. Axel walks past with a tasty looking lobster and caviar panini. He stops to chat.

Axel: What are you reading Rebecca?

Rebecca: Oh it’s a political science book, I’m reading it as part of my administrative management course.

Axel: Nice, what’s this week’s lesson?

Rebecca: It’s about alternative political systems, this week it’s communism.

Axel: Communism, what’s that?

Rebecca: Oh ,it’s a strange system, and still exists in parts of the world today. It’s fascinating to learn about the oppressive conditions that some unfortunate people live under.

Axel: Well how does it work?

Rebecca: I’m not entirely sure, but it seems that the leaders select themselves. The population are systematically denied the vote. Anyone who asks questions gets interrogated by the secret police, and if they are deemed a threat to society they get sent to the gulag. Typically the workers face rising taxes that the leaders use to pay themselves lots of money and arrange profitable contracts for their families and friends. The leader usually publishes a book or manifesto of his teachings, usually it's devoid of reason, but it is heavily promoted as a mantra to live by. The government controls the media, and convinces the population that all is well. They do this by branding public places with large pictures of themselves, particularly in areas of high pedestrian traffic including transport hubs and town squares. Nationalistic logos are painted strategically at events likely to catch international media attention such as sporting fixtures. Global institutions question the economic data published by these countries, who do all they can to assure the world that the numbers are right, while resisting all international requests for transparency, going to great lengths to confuse anybody who tries to validate the numbers. The leadership point to great societal successes as evidence of their skill, such as population satisfaction ratings that typically are exposed as hollow when an economic crisis exposes the truth of the situation. It never ends well. I think that sums it up, pretty much.

Axel: That’s interesting. Imagine operating in a system like that. We are very lucky in Australia. I think you'll do well here at the PCA Society. Well off to eat my lunch. Here's the receipt for my panini expense claim - put down the description "international political discussion".

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 2:42 pm
by Just disappointed
The PCA Office – Episode 4 – Scene 1 – The Performance Review

Rebecca has been with the society a month and today sits down with her boss for the mandatory one month review. She’s expecting it to go well, she’s good at her job.

Axel: Rebecca I am very happy with your performance, so well done.

Rebecca: Thank you

Axel: I do forget how we found you though – you are not typical of our employees.

Rebecca: The “Board Nomination and Selection” committee found my resume on an online job board.

Axel: Did they? I’m not sure what I think about that.

Rebecca: Yes, they were feeling bored. They said they’d like to see one resume in their lives that you hadn’t given to them.

Axel: (pauses for thought)…. You’re fabulous - It seems they lucked out on this one but, I’ll need to put a stop to that, can you put a note in my task list.

Rebecca: Sure.

Axel: Was it a rigorous interview process, with lots of difficult questions designed to assess your suitability for the role against a list of fantastic candidates?

Rebecca: Not really, they used the “standard template interview questions” template that they use to select directors for the board.

Axel: And what were the questions like?

Rebecca: Oh, there was only one question on the template, and I answered it right. It was “Will you promise to do anything Mr Axel asks you to do, without asking any questions, even if it seems totally lacking in ethical integrity?”

Axel: Oh, I should have known that – it’s the template I drafted!!

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 3:33 pm
by Not_A_CPA
Looks like we may have a new one to run after In Coversation called "Who wants to be a CEO", cheap spin off of millionaire.

Your host Alex Malley.

Question 1) This year your organisation reported a membership base of 160,000, and 155,000 last year. What is the growth of your organisation?

A) 45,000
B) We stand by our numbers
C) We are meeting minimum reporting requirements
D) Someone registered a website in Iceland

Almost reads like a CPA exam question.

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:00 pm
by The Nude CPA
:lol:

I'm sure Alex would love to take over Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (the real one)!

Re: CPA TV Shows We'd Like to See

Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 11:20 pm
by deaneus
Not_A_CPA wrote:
Thu Jun 15, 2017 3:33 pm
Looks like we may have a new one to run after In Coversation called "Who wants to be a CEO", cheap spin off of millionaire.

Your host Alex Malley.

Question 1) This year your organisation reported a membership base of 160,000, and 155,000 last year. What is the growth of your organisation?

A) 45,000
B) We stand by our numbers
C) We are meeting minimum reporting requirements
D) Someone registered a website in Iceland

Almost reads like a CPA exam question.
Okay, that's pretty funny. I lol'd.